We are done.
Having kids, that is.
Jason had the ol’ snip snip, the Big V, the {insert other humorous euphemism for vasectomy here} this week. He seems to be doing pretty well after a couple of days off work. When we met with the doctor for the pre-surgery consult he said he recommends people have the procedure done on a Friday so they have the weekend to recover (and drive your wife to insanity while she tries to handle both kids by herself all weekend). The Friday idea was quickly nixed and he opted for a Tuesday afternoon time slot so he could have a couple of days to recover in the empty house while the kids and I were at school and work. Much better for everyone, I think.
The decision to not have any more kids did not come easily to me. Right after Lily was born I knew that I wanted to have two more kids. I still felt that way after Cameron was born. I remember feeling like there was someone (another boy) still missing from our family. Jason and I had MANY discussions about having another child and very few of them went well. When Cam was about 9 months old we decided that we wouldn’t do anything permanent until he was at least 18 months old. 18 months came and went and there were more discussions and more frustrations on both sides.
As time went on and Cam got older the longing I was feeling for another child started to fade ever so slightly. I would be lying if I said that the feeling that someone is missing is completely gone but I’m OK with the way things have worked out. I have two fantastic kids! What’s not to love about that? Over the past several months I’ve created a sort of pros/cons list of not having any more kids.
CONS
*No more of the awesome pregnancy things: feeling baby kicks, seeing baby on the ultrasound, general pregnancy excitement!
*No more getting to know the new person you created. Who does he look like? What kind of personality will she have?
*No more nursing another baby.
*I think it would be fun to have a bigger than ‘normal’ family.
*Lily and Cameron have a great brother/sister relationship with each other but neither of them will know what a sister/sister or brother/brother relationship is like.
*Cameron doesn’t get to experience being an older sibling or the excitement of a new baby. I suppose this is kind of a silly train of thought because it would go on for infinity if every child needed to be an older sibling.
*I feel like the ‘having babies’ part of my life just flew by. I got pregnant for the first time in November 2004 and gave birth for the last time in September 2007. In some ways I’m not ready for that phase of my life to be over.
PROS
*No more of the yucky pregnancy things: morning sickness, worrying about the baby, aches and pains, gaining weight.
*No worrying about actually giving birth again: what if something goes wrong, the pain, etc.
*As the kids are getting bigger we can do more things as a whole family. Goofy’s Barnstormer at Disney, for example. Fewer cases of Jason and Lily doing a ‘big kid’ thing while Cameron and I sit it out. And with just four of us it’s easy to split up in groups of two. With five people someone would have to ride roller coasters solo and that’s no fun.
*Everyone pretty much sleeps through the night now.
*We don’t have to adjust our lifestyle to another family member. For the most part things went pretty smoothly after Cameron arrived but I can remember thinking, “What have we done? We had such a nice dynamic with just the three of us and now we’ve gone and screwed that up.” Obviously, things have worked out but it was an adjustment early on.
*It’s cheaper to only have two kids.
*I’m not getting any younger so it may be harder to bounce back from another pregnancy.
So, there you have it. I started getting rid of baby things a few months ago. All of the outgrown clothes and toys have been sold or given away. I do have a bag of a few things (clothes, toys, slings) that I won’t be parting with. We’ve moved out strollers, car seats, pack ‘n plays, you name it. We’re planning to get Cameron a new bed this weekend so it will be time to pass along the crib and changing table as we change his room from a baby’s room to a big boy’s room. Time marches on.
